10 August 2008

SciFoo 2008: Science Comedy

Note: Updated 10 August to correct tipsy typos and 14 August to correct misquotes (basically, to make them funnier in type).

It's 8:30pm in Silicon Valley. I've had a couple glasses of wine. So to share with you a bit of the evening-at-SciFoo vibe, here I give you some punchlines from the session by Brian Malow, Science Comedian:
  • We're trashing the planet - and we don't even have space travel. Doesn't that seem backwards? FIRST, perfect interstellar flight, THEN fuck up the home planet! It just makes better sense.
  • Life is meaningless, a biochemical accident. We're pond scum, a temporary manifestation of the evolving DNA molecule - a long chain of nucleotides with a day job.
  • I don't believe in a Supreme Being or even a Deluxe Being... maybe a Being with Extra Cheese.
  • Frontiers are dangerous, just ask Marie Curie.
  • That joke was endothermic.
  • Chimps don't have lips like ours ...you know ...lips like sugar.
  • There was a guy at the airport who talked so loud (on his cell phone) it was like his last phone was a Dixie Cup and string.
  • If Karma exists it's clearly in the Beta Phase. And most likely it's vaporware.
  • The reason we do so much drugs and alcohol is because we have these big brains - we know too much. And the main thing we know is: we have knowledge of our own mortality (I don't mean that as a spoiler). We know we're gonna die. And the other animals are spared that. No wonder dogs are so happy-go-lucky, they have no idea Death lurks around every corner.... although Chihuahuas are kinda scared, I think they know something....
I think this calls for an instant rimshot.

1 comment:

Science Comedian said...


Thanks for the blog post! I'm glad you enjoyed my "session" - and impressed that you remembered so much of it.

Good luck with the Beagle Project!

If you need a comedian on board, you know where to find me!

From across the pond,